Josh-isms

Me: Hey what happened here? Where did this mess come from?

J: It must have been Daniel because it's never my fault right mom?

Me: Hey, indoor voice bud.

J: I don't have an indoor voice. My dad told me that.

Kids really don't comprehend sarcasm.

J: Mom you know what I forgot? I forgot to tell you my tales from preschool!

Me: You could tell me now.

J: OK, I will share my tales of preschool with you.

I feel as though he is going to be a poet, author, or playwright when he grows up.

J: You don't know everything mom.

Me: Yes I do.

J: nuh-uh

Me: What don't I know then?

J: uhmm...I don't know.

Me: Then how do you know that I don't know everything?

J: Because God is the only one who knows everything...and Trish.

Makes sense, God and preschool the source of all knowledge in the world.

J: I know never to talk to strangers. I watched a video and learned that in Preschool.

Me: That is good know and remember. You should only talk to strangers if Mom or Dad are with you.

J: But it's okay. I can just ask them their name and then they will be my friend not a stranger.

Because asking a question apparently doesn't count as a talking. It also explains him yelling at vehicles driving by: "Hey what's your name?"

J: Is the baby getting big?

Me: Yes she is, she is growing.

J: So her bones won't break if we step on her?

Me: Don't step on your sister.

J: hmmm...oh, ok.

And tummy time suddenly seems more dangerous.