A Glimpse In the Future

My future grandchildren will have some unique monikers.

Big D says he will name his children Thing 1, Thing 2, and Billy Bob.

Bear chose Sparkle Bright and Jim.

Bug picked my name, his Aunt B's, Great Aunt Brenda for girls and for Boys his dad's name, Richard, Rick, and Junior.

The conversation came up at supper tonight because Big D thought we should call his twin sisters Thing 1 and Thing 2 and I felt we could just use their names. Promptly he named his future children. Bug said not to worry because he says "the future wife won't allow it".

Move it, Turn it, Try Again

Afternoon my twinks awoke from their naps I decided to tighten up the crib. When I had laid them down I noticed a corner had a loose bolt. Then I decided to go ahead and lower the mattress as I had been meaning too, and Gracers has crawled out, albeit with a push from Meekers, if reports are to be believed. They also have been crawling into the crib.  In moving the crib I noticed there was a lot of hidden debris underneath. At that level the same was easily noted of Bears bed. To make a long story shorter before another tangent makes it longer- I ended up rearranging the kids bedroom.

I tried a couple layouts, but with not being strong enough to move the boy's bunk bed by my onesies, I turned Bears daybed and moved the toy bench, play table and toddler rocking chair. I vacuumed multiple times in sections as I moved. Hauled out dirty laundry, sippy & bowls, and a quarter garbage bag of garbage. Yikes! A closer inspection will be needed in the future. I moved the play kitchen to a corner in the living room and have a corner play nook (Kitchen, dollhouse, rocking horse, small toy bin) that the toddlers have been enjoying.

It is that time of year where I start organizing something everyday. Whether it be a drawer, closet, or room. I have the purging bug. Tomorrow I think I will sort through toys again. Aiming for the things they play with on a regular basis and rotating out the extra.  The main things they have been playing with is blankets making forts anyway.

Billboard Classics

I mentioned The Farmer in the Dell is a current kiddo favorite. However, it is not THEE favorite.

The number 1 song that is ever requested in our house, and begged to be played on repeat if we are in the car is.....The Final Countdown by Europe.



The Big D once asked me to sing it for him while we were working on our preschool lesson at the kitchen table, then held up his hand and said "stop mom, the car sings it better". 4 is the age children begin to appreciate and decipher talent from tone deaf.



All three children love it. Bear, who I was concerned about not talking yet, will say Ninal Dowdown (final countdown) by hearing reference too or the opening. Toes of the song. She dances and sings while we watch football....and randomly in the kitchen when the need is felt. She points a lot, grunts, says Mom, Daddy, shoes and Final Countdown.



I will admit, no matter what errand we are running seems infinitely more important. Supper to the field? Getting the mail, garbage to the dump....really anything. We are on a mission, don't mess with us.



The boys sing and argue over who will be in charge of making what instrumental sounds. The Big D likes the tongue out wiggling minion like lalalallala for the electric guitars, while Jbug prefers a high nasal method. There can only be one drummer and much discussion over why the planet Venus is in the lyrics.



Mostly, the Final Countdown is deemed a superhero song. Along with Metallica's Ecstasy of Gold and Tessie by the Dropkick Murphys.



So now you know the top 4 hits of our little household.
#1 Final Countdown
#2 Ecstasy of Gold
#3 Tessie
#4 The Farmer in the Dell

Get a Life

The Big D gets his mords wixed up sometimes.

Currently a favorite song in the house is The Farmer in the Dell

So all day long I hear:

The Farmer takes a Life!

The Farmer takes a Life!

Hi Ho the Dairy-O,

The Farmer takes a Life!

Me: Thats Wuh-Wuh-Wuh - Wife, Bud.

Not Luh-Luh-Luh-Life

Big D: Okay Mom

The Famer take a Wife

The Farmer takes a Life...

Big D: When I'm a grown up I'll get married and have a life. And my life with have lots of kids.  I'll be their ruler, and my life.

Me: You won't be ruler of your Wife.

Big D: No, me and my life will be rulers of all our kids.  And you can babysit all my babies and watch them and love them for me and my life.

On a side note, reports vary to how many babies the Big D will have.  He says God will bless him with 'lots' and 'many' some early reports estimate 100 all at once. He has also informed me that I am to cover everyone's eyes at his wedding so no one sees him kiss his new life.

Spring

Spring is nearing, 

yet the temperature is cold.

It taunts me with a day of sunshine,

then takes it away with a forecast of snow.

The days on the countdown trickle away, 

yet the length of each day feels like it stretches on and on.

How is it time can both fly and crawl?

Anticipation is building,

impatience is growing,

my concentration is gone.

Our time apart begins to feel as unbearable as the first weeks after you left.

We have both grown and changed during our time apart.  

I can only hope, that it has been for the better.

That the strength we have found inside ourselves,

still allows us a need for each other.

That cold lonely nights soon are replaced by the warmth of family cuddles,

 and watching over our precious children as they sleep.

The time can't go fast enough yet it is the wait the makes the return so wonderful.

I love you and despite the cold temperatures, 

days remaining, and the thousands of miles separating us.

In my heart it is Spring and we are together.

So Many Rules, So Many Fish

My children are as controlling/OCD as I am.
They have inherited the only wanting to do something your way.
Which is irritating for me, because it, well we have established this. I want it my way.

Making arbitrary rules that are to be followed by others. 
With the caveat that the rule maker is clearly above any rules they make.  
Future politicians? Or turning into their mother?

The Toddler going over the rules.

Rule #1) The red fish are mine, I catch them all.

Rule #2) You can catch the green fish.

The Big D putting back every single fish that was caught.

Thee longest game of all time...it couldn't end.

Rule #3) You can only put Mommy's fish back.

Then the starting and stopping of the game at least 8 times.

Rule #4) Each fish has a designated spot.  Be it know that Fishing cannot commence until each flounder is accounted for and in place. Really I'm surprised he didn't issue permits.

No not yet, that ones isn't in its spot.

No not yet, this one goes here.

No not yet....

The Big D gave up fishing and decided to use his hands....against the Toddler's rules...until he tried it too.

Rule #5) No using your hands!

Rule #6) If you use your hands, you have to do it like this.

They tested out the poles from all angels.

Then they decided Mom should hold on to each of their poles to help them catch fish.

I can help one kid....I'm not talented enough to fish simultaneously double-fisted.

Especially while attempting to follow Rules #1-2

(at this point I can envision double-fisting adult beverages other things)

Then the sport of plastic fish began to wane.

The problem with a multitude of very specific rules...is that they aren't fun to follow.

With rampant rule breaking...they turned to bigger fish to fry catch....Themselves.

At this point I walked away, I don't fit in with the fishing crowd. 

Plus I didn't want to get netted. Though watching the fish's valiant fighting effort was entertaining.

And the poles were put down, mom's patience was gone...but we survived.

The Hiding and the Seeking

Last weekend I judged the final round of Classical Duo for Speech and Drama, during which the boys had a play date with the neighbor kids.  I did a little bit of S&D in high school, as did my sister.  The difference?  She was awesome, I liked watching all the other skits.  I never made it very far, but some of my classmates won at state.  I was looking forward to being at a meet again...because I still like watching the skits.

It was a nice change of pace for all of us.  Getting out of the house, out of the rut, and socializing.  We had the neighbors over for supper that evening in return and the kids got more time to play together. Fortunately they all seem to get along great.  Mainly what I learned though, the Toddler doesn't grasp Hide-n-Seek very well. I guess technically I caught on to that over the holidays as it was the same MO at grandmas house.

What is better?  The hiding?  Or the seeking? It really is hard to pick, after all the next turn is more enticing than the current activity.

The Big D puts his hands over his face with his fingers spread wide so he can see, and walks around counting the best he can, then giggles frantically.  Not really hiding or seeking, just trying to follow the action.

1-2-3-4-3-4-3-2

The Toddler shouts at the end of each round (which ends either when he is found, or finds the first person...regardless of the number of people playing) "Now it my turn to count/hide".  As soon as he hears the words "ready or not here I come" he is leaping out of his hiding place shouting "You Find Me!".

Which is irritating because while I am competitive at games and want to win, he likes to hide in the same spot over and over....and leap out before anyone even gets a chance to seek.  I keep needing to remind myself that he is Three. He wanted me to help instead of visit, so I tucked him behind the livingroom curtain, and it was a wonderful spot.  Really, you couldn't see him at all!  After that I became the designated kid hider for each round...regardless of whose turn it was.  Can you hide me now? After placing the neighbor boy in the pop up tent, he had a hiding place for the rest of the night.  The Toddler still wanted my help, yet refused all my ideas.  This is when I looked at the clock and realized it was bedtime.

Hide-n-Seek has became one of our pre-bedtime rituals.  No TV, dinner in our tummy's  a couple books for wind down, but fast bouts of hide-n-seek to burn off some energy.  It works for us. Once the tantrums start, its time for bed.

 YOU FIND ME!!!

HIDING...heeheehee

Where oh where could he possibly be?

A Gentle Blizzard

Me:  What is the weather like?  It sounds bad and I heard the roads aren't very good. Like taking 2 1/2 hrs at 45mph bad.

Sister: I'd love you see you, but I don't want you coming and risking an accident. 

Me: It's snowing here, but we haven't got anything like they predicted so far. It was warm yesterday though so everything is pretty icy.  I heard you guys had 6 inches by this morning and it hasn't stopped coming down?

Sister: Ok, I wanted to say we have like a foot but didn't want to sound like I was exaggerating.  I was about to tell you it was a raging blizzard, but I just went outside and its more of a light breeze. 

Me:  So its a gentle blizzard? I mean as opposed to raging.

Sister: Yeah, I'd say that fits. 

PS - They are naming Winter Storms now days.  So officially I will refer to this one as Gandolf, the Gentle Blizzard. 

A Christmas Story, the Pirate Version

Sunday was the kids CCD Christmas program after mass.  We received a phone call personally inviting us to attend Saturday night, as they planned to dedicate the performance to the deployed military members of the parish.  They also had a small token they wanted to present the families. They gave us a very pretty wreath, and after mass we stayed in our pew for the much anticipated performance.

The Christmas story as told by a Grandmother mouse who apparently was at the stable where our Lord and Savior was born.  They are lucky that cute children played the parts of the mice, otherwise a story of vermin living for several thousand years wouldn't have been my idea of a great story.  Anyway, the costumes were adorable, one of my favorites was a little star.   Who I felt bad for, he had no lines and just had to stand there.  The Big D loved the sheep and immediately stood up to give them a standing ovation, complete with clapping, laughing and pointing....SHEEEP SHEEP! SHEEEEEP!

Most of the kiddos read their lines in that monotone-self-conscious-why-am-I-being-forced-to-do-this kind of way.  The audience was expected to sing along with the common Christmas tunes, but not understanding the low mumbled lines, and being Catholics, audience participation was poor (really you would think everyone would have caught on to the fact that Catholics don't sing...and if we do it isn't well.) My memory of some of the songs was rusty...my little family did a lot of humming along.  The true stand outs of this play were the camels though.  They came in with dark shades dancing and bee-bopping on altar stage..  They had no lines as a rap song version of we Three Kings was played and they danced, I laughed so hard.  It was cute, they were really the only animated and in-to-it characters...and it didn't fit with the rest of the play, but was so fun.

Not the actual KCs/Kings from our parish,
but a visual to help with the story.

Apparently there weren't enough child actors so three of the Knights of Columbus played the parts of the three kings.  I'm not sure if you have ever seen the KCs in full costume, but when they came into view the Toddler loudly shouted "I think those are PIRATES!!!"  At the end of the play when the procession of thespians marched by, he again was excited to point out them out. "Yep, those are three pirates! one-two-three!"

As a thank you to the CCD, I did truly love the play.  Thank you for the wreath and acknowledging our troops that won't be home for Christmas.  The program was cute, and I honestly didn't expect Gangsta Camels or Pirates. It was a memorable twist.

Nosferatu or Something Slightly Less Sinister

You remember from the last week's Photo Bomb that the Toddler took a liking to his batman mask?  The thing might have bat calling powers...for real.  Either that or it was a curse bestowed upon me because we were talking about bats at work last week.  Bats are pretty much flying mice with wings as far as I'm concerned, and you all know how I feel about mice.

While staying at my parents house, my guest bed is the living room couch.  You know, out in the open without protection from house intruders, spies, villains, mayhem, bats...


I come out of the bathroom and walked into the kitchen just in time to see a bat flying around!  With pure malicious intent and I could tell it was honing in on my hair, cuz' that's what bats do right?  But, because I am brave and heroic and have always been one to step up with courage when the actual moment calls for it, I let out a scream and ran back into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.  Then I thought I'd better suck it up and make sure it really was a bat, so I opened up the door and crept back towards the kitchen. There I saw my nemesis once more flying around.  So I did the only logical thing one could do,  let out another scream and hit the light switch on my way running back to the bathroom!

In case you aren't familiar with the layout of my parents house, that particular light switch is for the bathroom andnot the kitchen. That still doesn't explain why I also seemed to have forgotten than bats like the dark not the light! I panicked alright?

 I have included a visual to help you follow along, kinda like drawing it out with a crayon.

So there I am, hiding in the pitch black bathroom wondering how to tell if the bat is in there with me.  I hear my parents door open and my Mom lovingly say "What is your problem?"

Because they are understanding like that...by the way and am I the only one who noticed it took TWO screams to rouse their interest?  Really where is the love? Your curiosity isn't roused after one blood curdling scream?  They also didn't seem to initially buy my story of a bat either. We looked around and couldn't find it and they were content to just head back to bed.  I was not content with that plan at all.  I wasn't ready to stay out in the open unprotected from a flying rat.  I pulled my hoodie on my head and helped in the search, and spotted the vermin on the floor by the bathroom. (It was following me! Again the turning OFF the light was not my most brilliant plan)  Then scurried to the couch and huddled down while Dad picked it up with a napkin and reintroduced him to the wild out the back door.  Just thinking about the sound it made still gives me goosebumps.

Bats aren't exactly a rare thing, its just the cats used to catch them.  Or you would see them outdoors, where I can tolerate them much better.  Trapped in the same room together...different story.

Finding Thanksgiving

To help keep my mood positive I am once again attempting the 30 days of Thankful.  If you are my friend on Facebook you have been subjected to a new status of something I am thankful for each day for the month of November. I will post them all together at the end of the month.

Even without conscious effort to look around and be grateful, I am reminded of how blessed to be apart of this community again.  One Sunday night October I came home to this fun surprise!

After a bit of detective work, aka asking the neighbors, I found out who I have to thank.  The local 4-H club.  Thank you for thinking of us and getting my house festive.  Coming up on the holidays is hard as my family can't celebrate them together this year.  However, I can't help but smile every time I come home now. There is still so much to celebrate and be thankful for, and the timing couldn't have been at a better time.  I needed that reminder.  Plus the Halloween Decorations work for Thanksgiving too!

Surprise Visits are the Best

I forgot to mention one of the highlights from last weekend.  Finally a benefit to stalking Facebook regularly I discovered a friend, from my college days, and her family would be passing through on a trip Friday night.

Friend Post: On my way to {City} to see my best friend!
Me: But I live in {Small Town}...

She happened to check her Facebook while gassing up...in town!  They stopped by for about 10 minutes and we got to meet each others kiddos!  I can't believe it had been 6 years.  They added in a longer stop Monday to gas up and get a late lunch on the return trip. Operation get friends to visit and/or move to Montana is going splendidly well.  They did say they loved Montana!

Aren't they a happy looking family? 

However, they also mentioned not wanting to move too far away from family...more persuasion may be needed.  I'm hoping to actually take a trip to South Dakota to visit before the snow sets in. I can practice my Puppet Mastery in person ;)

How Telemarketers Give Themselves a Bad Name

Telemarketer: Hi, is Dale in? 

Me: No, I'm sorry I haven't seen him today. He is probably working out in the field. Is there anyone else who could help you? 

Telemarketer: Well, like no, I was wanting to talk to him.  Like, could you give me Dave's cellphone number? 

Me: Could you tell me a little more about what you are calling about? 

Telemarketer: Well this is like a sales call.  Like, I wanted to tell him about how I could totally save him some money in this rough economy. 

Me: Please take us off your calling list. 

Maybe I should have translated though:

Like could you totally take us of your calling list.  Because we totally buy everything locally and like, its obvious you like didn't even do your research 'cuz you totally couldn't keep straight like if you were asking for Dale or Dave. And like, that kinda doesn't come across professional.  Peace out Dude!

Now I realize that telemarketers are just doing their job, but here is the thing.  If you are going to do a job, take pride in it and do it well.  To me this means:

• Be honest, don't pretend to be anyone other than a person interested in providing a service.  
• Don't pretend to be the owners long lost relative - yes, that angle has been played.
• When told that we buy our products locally don't try and sell us on how you have a location near us when you only have stores in Florida.
• Don't pretend you service our equipment and just need printer numbers, and then send us boxes of ink. We have a local company that handles that and you are using a tactic that people only fall for once. Your goal should be to make a legitimate sale, followed up by good service and getting return business. (Plus you are wasting money on postage - faster than we can write "return to sender")
• Be polite and professional
• Don't insult the person answering the phone, our opinions of you/your business do matter.
• Don't suggest anyone remove anything from their ears.
• Don't swear
• Do be able to string a coherent sentence together.
• Don't just hang up or say you will call back later...you are going to get the same person answering the phone over and over again.  Believe it or not, the president does not answer the phone, the office staff does.
• If you are asked to remove a business listing from a calling list please do so.
• Again, you are just wasting both of our time by continuing to call.  Its a numbers game and time is money, move on please.

M'kay, got all that?  Thanks

Did I Give Birth to a Spider Monkey?

The Big D today has got on to the kitchen table FOUR times today! I am at my wits end, I can't keep this boy down...and we still need chairs for the kitchen table, so getting rid of them isn't an option.  They were all pushed in after the first time he crawled up, I can't figure out how he managed to get back up again.  Usually he is so hardheaded that after putting him back on the floor he is immediately retracing his steps to get back. So its easy to see how he does it....not today.  I'm stumped...and a little ticked.  I dried the roses the Hubby sent me for my birthday and had them on the table in a vase as a center piece and found my little deviant whacking at them.  He smushed and crushed a lot of the petals and heartlessly beheaded several of the roses. (He obviously isn't as sentimental as his mother)

Of course he also climbed up onto the computer desk multiple times (my own fault for not pushing in the chair).  Then at one point he crawled up and was standing on top of the printer swatting at pictures on the wall...and learned another method of getting on top of the desk. 

The Big D's Mission Impossible Game Plan:

• First climb up on chair and spin it (the chair is located there to keep you away from the outlet and abruptly killing power to the computer-use that against the enemy)
• From there climb up on the filing cabinet,
• Knock over the lamp and any pictures in your way,
• Push buttons on the printer and remove everything that can be removed (try and have the foresight to jam some crayons in any openings)
• From there you can shimmy and step over to the desk (you may also decide at this point to head dive off...just to give your Mother a heart-attack and to get her to try to hold her bladder until nap time)
• Throw the mouse and keyboard as far as you can
• Sweep everything else off, pay special attention to if a cellphone is there, with the right moves you should be able to get it to fall behind the file cabinet or drop into the toy box
• Try and see if the monitor will support your weight
• Repeat through out the day

Can you hear me pulling out my hair?

Really?  I need some help people?  Are ball and chains frowned upon these days?  How do I keep him on the ground?  I have the bookshelf blocked off so he can't impersonate King Kong anymore, but I am also now wondering how much longer his crib is going to hold him. Or I guess we could just get rid of all furtniture and use only floor pillows...

**PS- Dear Hubby, somehow this is your fault!

 

The Race

Friend: I have to drop E off at his dad's then I'll meet you guys.  Is that okay, or will it screw anything up? 

Me: No, we just stopped to take a picture of an old house. 

Friend: Are you serious? 

Me: Well we pulled to the side of the interstate, turned our flashers on, and took some pictures...but we are on the road again. 

Friend: (talking to her son in background) I'm talking to Miss {The Wife} they are taking pictures of old buildings and that is why WE are winning the race.

Me: You only think you are winning. Where are you? 

Friend: Almost to {small town} 

Me: What mile marker? 

Friend: By  {small town} ! 

Me: What mile marker? 

Friend: uhmmmm 1 - 0 - ARGH I'm blind!!! We are like almost to {small town}...wait..okay 1-0-3 

Me: We just passed 81.

Friend: We are 20 miles ahead of you!

Me: We are still winning the race.

Sister/Driver: What? We are racing?! 

Me: Yeah, and we totally are going to win!

Me: Say, did we remember to stop at a rest area yet?

Sister/Driver: No, why? 

Me: Didn't Little Girl #2 have to use the bathroom? 

Little Girl #2: I have to go really bad! 

Sister/Driver: (long pause) you know, they are the reason we aren't winning the race....not me taking pictures of an old building.

Sister/Driver: How fast did she say she was driving? 

Making a List and Checking it Twice!

My sister and I were talking the other day about how happy we both were at this point in our lives. We both are thankful for healthy children, being able have careers, and having our own place to call home.  And of course we both adore our husbands and are incredibly grateful we met them. That was the real jumping point of the conversation I guess.

   

We began talking about pre-qualifications we had made earlier in our lives, what our ideal mate would be like and how close we got. My sister's husband she claims is a 100% complete match. In her Junior High Health class they were supposed to list traits and characterizes of their dream partner. Can you believe she knew what she wanted in the 7th grade? Haha..I thought the Backstreet Boys were cool in the 7th grade...we are very different people....always have been. (PS - I no longer think the Backstreet Boys or really any boy band(s) are cool...it was a fad people!)

In college I had once rattled off a random list of traits to a friend when I was at a point of tired of being single.  Wondering if anyone was actually out there for me. My friend ended up telling me "no such man exists" after actually writing down my ridiculously long list. At the time I think she was wanting to set me up with someone, and wanted to match common interests. I don't remember everything on the list (and I doubt she kept it), but it is surprising how many of the "impossible" characteristics my Hubby met years later.

Her List

• Black Hair 
• Brown Eyes
• Over 6 foot
• Older
• Good with kids
• Loves Animals
• Music Lover
• In Shape (apparently an afterthought requirement)

My List - 

Really these 3 were the first things listed & ultimately thrown out on my Ideal Guy Checklist.

• Over 6 foot - (Hubby is 5' 9")
• Older  - (I am older by 7 months)
• Must hate ACDC (sadly he is a fan, I am only a fan of their music if it’s being covered....I can't deny the lyrics are good and the beat is catchy.  However lets be honest, ACDC really sound like screaming 6-year-old-girls....yeah I said it!)

Oh but all the rest he nailed:

• Hardworking (If I didn't earn it/get it for myself, I don't need it attitude)
• Smart/Intelligent
• Must be a John Wayne fan (this one is sketchy, my Hubby says he prefers Clint Eastwood - he hasn't admitted to not liking John Wayne...frankly because that could be a deal breaker)
• Faithful
• Loves to read
• Funny/Good sense of Humor
• Easy to Talk to (really this one is borderline, but there are days he blows my mind and I have never found anyone I would rather stay up all night talking to)
• Manners - has 'em; uses 'em
• Honest and Straight forward
• Mechanical (something sexy about the smell of grease and being able to build/fix stuff)
• Similar Morals
• Has Faith & Lives it
• Kind to others
• Not Cocky (I can get along with almost every personality type out there, but I just don't do cocky)
• Hunter/Sportsman
• Stubborn/Not Easily Pushed Around
• Appreciates Agriculture (bonus points for being involved in it)
• Good with Children
• Not afraid of spiders (I actually am not afraid of bugs, but I had an ex that I had to kill spiders for and its just not a turn on)
• Not afraid of mice (I am petrified of mice)
• Not afraid of snakes (again terrified of snakes, I needed someone brave!)
• Similar Music Preferences (here I rattled off the all kinds of music I liked and didn't like...and bands he had to like/dislike.....this actually lead to the impossible to fulfill comment) The Hubby actually is similar though. He prefers classic country to modern country, likes rock & roll, doesn't listen to rap, and more importantly has heard of and owns Flogging Molly and The Dropkick Murphys!

I feel so fortunate to have such a great man in my life...forever! Really, sometimes I am amazed, I get to the spend the rest of my life with this guy. We are a sappy couple (though not over-the-top PDA), in public our hands and fingers do seem to find each others....probably more of my doing. We hold hands as we walk down the street, or our fingers brush when out with friends. That is one of the hardest things so far about this deployment, him not being there. I mean that sounds obvious, but really, it’s an intangible emptiness. Even if I am spoiled and we have been able to FaceTime lately, and seeing his face and hearing his voice does make me swoon...the weird empty feeling of missing his hand holding mine makes his absence painful.

Did you ever make a list of things you were looking for/wanted in a partner?
If so did this list match your mate?

 

Wife~Vs~Mouse

I knew this day was coming.  I knew no matter what preparations I tried to take, I would never be ready for it.  It really was only a matter of time...before I would face one of my biggest fears. *Dun dun duuuuhh*

I had mentioned here that I have a crippling fear of mice.  I also shared that there were mouse droppings found in my car recently. I vacuumed them up 3 times...twice the signs returned by the next morning.  After the last cleanup though I placed a sticky trap in the one place the droppings kept appearing....and waited.  With dread, sweaty palms, and knot in my stomach each morning I checked out the floorboards of my car.  A week passed and no mouse was captured, no taunting signs of his presence left behind.  The trap was inadvertently disarmed when it attached itself to my friend's flip flop.  With no more signs though, I began to let my guard down. I didn't even replace the trap. I exhaled and felt some weight lift off my shoulders, by the end of the week I wasn't even checking anymore as my morning routine.

Then yesterday his calling card was left once more and it all changed.  With a scattered pile of vile mouse turds on the drivers side floorboard, fear had entered my life once more.  I picked up the boys from daycare and took my car to the car wash.  There I vacuumed the car thoroughly once again, and went through the automatic carwash to make the Toddler's day.  After bringing the boys into the house I placed TWO sticky traps.  One on the drivers side and one on the passenger side floorboard.  I figured if thats were the demon was marking his territory, it would be there the battle would be fought. Bring it you mousy bastard!

I hardly had time to prepare myself for the horror that laid ahead of me.  After all, the fiend would need to be caught and eventually I would need to face my adversary. War is not for the faint of heart, yet courage was not beating in mine.  I went to the garage to grab some meat out of the freezer, and decided to checkout the car.  There I saw it (with the Psycho music blaring through the garage).  I summoned all of my courage and strength, screamed bravely at the top my of lungs, boldly slammed the car door and gallantly ran back into the house.

Then I sent a text to my favorite brother-in-law to come rescue me, which he did...in under 5 minutes!  How awesome is he? Even the cops take an average 20 minutes! (I may or may not have attempted to guilt my husband via facebook into coming home from Afghanistan to protect me).

If either of my other BILs happen to read this just know that to even compete for the prized roll of favorite you will really have to step up your game. This man has protected me from mice that were stuck in sticky traps more times that can ever be repaid (once even from TWO mice in the same trap!).  Solid unabashed hero stuff really.  I have another BIL who probably would come rescue me as well...but he lives 80 miles away, so you know he loses some points for not being able to provide a speedy response time.  Actually all my BILs would probably come rescue me when push comes to shove, but the fact remains that only ONE has.  So he wins....you guys didn't even know you were competing did you?

You may have caught on at this point of the story that I am prone to exaggeration, please just take away from this, that it was incredibly scary. (Also you will note there are no pictures...do you really think that if I am too afraid to empty a mouse trap I would stop and take pictures of it?)

Memorable Convos from Work: Peanut Butter & Monkeys

I shouldn't laugh, but my co-worker always has the sweetest, friendliest voice when she answers the phone. She politely thanks telemarketers for calling (after all they are just doing their job), and asks them if they please wouldn't mind taking us off their calling list and then wishes them a good day. Professional and friendly at all times.


Apparently there is also a different side. A side that isn't about to put up with rude people. A side that I find hilarious when it comes out. I was sitting over in my desk dying trying not to snort too loudly the other day while eavesdropping a phone call. 

"Hello, {Small Oilfield Trucking Company}, this is {Co-Worker}"

Telemarketer starts schpeel, wanting the owner's phone number

"I'm sorry he's not available, could I take a message?"

Telemarketer becomes increasingly rude

"Well he's not available to talk to you!"

Telemarketer gets nasty

"Do you really think you are going to get anywhere talking to me like that?"

Telemarketer went too far

"OK you're really not going anywhere now. {click}"

Note to self, never suggest anyone remove Peanut Butter from their ears.


One of the biggest benefits to being a working mom is getting getting that adult interaction and conversation, as well as working with fun people.  Getting to know people and their personalities better.  You never really never know what to expect as far as conversations go at my job, so I define "adult interaction" a  wee bit loosely. (Doesn't every talk about Pirate Monkeys?)  This is probably why I also occasionally get warnings about needing to  focus more on work and less on socializing.  Sometimes a little bit of office randomness helps balance the crazy of everyday life though.  It's little moments like these that make my day, and I know I would miss them if I were a fulltime at home mom. 

Lesson to take home: If you are a telemarketer, keep in mind if you try the vinegar approach to catch flies, don't expect honey...I'm just saying.

AWK-WORD

Do you ever write a word out, or happen to just look at a word for awhile and suddenly it just doesn't seem like it is spelled right? No matter how you say it, or spell it, something seems wrong?

Like "plumb"...really, what the heck P-L-U-M-B? I know its right, but it just looks so wrong. What kind of word is it anyway? Plumb? Now it doesn't even sound right.

Actually, as I am writing this, "wrong" seems wrong too...something really is WRONG with me isn't it? ('Too' is getting to me...well uhm...too. I'm just going to stop writing now.)

Another Reason a Boy Needs His Father

I love my two little guys more than words could ever express...but I have learned there are some things this mom just isn't up for/knowledgeable about. Thank goodness for uncles.

I was at my sister's house over the 4th, and the Toddler had just gotten up from a nap. I was changing his pullup...and well, I don't know how to put it...but "it" was, uhm...more pronounced than normal. I slid on a new pullup, and he was crying saying it hurt. I didn't know what to do, how to adjust to make things better ... I wasn't comfortable touching it, and even if I was I didn't know what to do with it.  This is definitively a father's job.

Luckily Uncle D swooped in for the rescue. He took the Toddler to a little more private place and made whatever adjustment needed to be made. All better. I flat out am not equiped to handle that situation. Thats why God made moms and dads right?

Anyone have an embarrassing confession/task that should be a simple fix that is just beyond you?