How Telemarketers Give Themselves a Bad Name

Telemarketer: Hi, is Dale in? 

Me: No, I'm sorry I haven't seen him today. He is probably working out in the field. Is there anyone else who could help you? 

Telemarketer: Well, like no, I was wanting to talk to him.  Like, could you give me Dave's cellphone number? 

Me: Could you tell me a little more about what you are calling about? 

Telemarketer: Well this is like a sales call.  Like, I wanted to tell him about how I could totally save him some money in this rough economy. 

Me: Please take us off your calling list. 

Maybe I should have translated though:

Like could you totally take us of your calling list.  Because we totally buy everything locally and like, its obvious you like didn't even do your research 'cuz you totally couldn't keep straight like if you were asking for Dale or Dave. And like, that kinda doesn't come across professional.  Peace out Dude!

Now I realize that telemarketers are just doing their job, but here is the thing.  If you are going to do a job, take pride in it and do it well.  To me this means:

• Be honest, don't pretend to be anyone other than a person interested in providing a service.  
• Don't pretend to be the owners long lost relative - yes, that angle has been played.
• When told that we buy our products locally don't try and sell us on how you have a location near us when you only have stores in Florida.
• Don't pretend you service our equipment and just need printer numbers, and then send us boxes of ink. We have a local company that handles that and you are using a tactic that people only fall for once. Your goal should be to make a legitimate sale, followed up by good service and getting return business. (Plus you are wasting money on postage - faster than we can write "return to sender")
• Be polite and professional
• Don't insult the person answering the phone, our opinions of you/your business do matter.
• Don't suggest anyone remove anything from their ears.
• Don't swear
• Do be able to string a coherent sentence together.
• Don't just hang up or say you will call back later...you are going to get the same person answering the phone over and over again.  Believe it or not, the president does not answer the phone, the office staff does.
• If you are asked to remove a business listing from a calling list please do so.
• Again, you are just wasting both of our time by continuing to call.  Its a numbers game and time is money, move on please.

M'kay, got all that?  Thanks