Swan Lake

I have got to be the most uncoordinated person on this planet.  I have always been klutzy, my dear sweet grandma used to tell me "When you grow up you will be as graceful as a swan, clumsy is just a stage" referencing some ugly duckling premise I'm sure.  Well I am here to tell you...grandma got it wrong.

In Jr High I was told by a boy (the one I happened to have a crush on) that he loved being around me...because it made him look less clumsy. There is a confidence boost.

I have very seldom met a set of stairs/steps I haven't fallen up or down.

I am quite possibly the only person to have ever bitten their bottom lip while sneezing (seriously just happened...I have no idea how)

Speaking of no idea how.  Last weekend I was wearing my favorite pair of mules and managed to step in gum with the heel of my  foot...thus sticking my sock to the inside of my shoe. Made for an awkward predicament. Honestly how in the heck does one step on gum INSIDE of their shoe?

In the morning after waking up, I have trouble walking through doorways...okay, okay really it can be at anytime.  I also constantly have a bruise on my thigh from catching the corners of desks I happen to be walking by at work.

I also once gave myself a fat lip with the bottom of my snowboard.  1st and last attempt at snowboarding. Some friends from  high school made it sound fun when we were in college.  I ended up hiking down the last part of the mountain and sitting in front of the fireplace at the lodge until everyone else finished having 'fun'.  After making it down the bunny slope without falling a false sense of security lead me to believe my good friend (who is now has a PhD - though I question her smarts) when she said I was a natural, took me up the ski lift and ditched my sorry butt. No one showed me how to slow down, and the only advice I could remember was given to me by my uncle before the trip.  If you want to stop just fall down (that I was good at)

My poor kids are lucky they haven't been trampled.  Okay throw me a bone here, is anyone else still waiting to grow into the graceful swan stage?  Please share so I don't feel so alone....and that there is hope for my poor son who seems to be following in his mother's footsteps.  I guess he is 50% hubby, so he has that going for him...right?

***PS - I just totally knocked over my drink all over my desk.***