Tuesday, January 22, 2013

If You Can't Make Fun of Yourself...

I am a special kind of stupid. 

Bill Engval owes me a sign.

Stupid is as Stupid does...and I do Stupid well

I'm not even sure how I have made it this far in life...I'm shattering Darwin's theories daily.

A couple weeks ago I decided to start wearing my contacts again.  I had taken a break from them because my eyes felt really dry and the lenses weren't feeling/fitting comfortable.  I figured after one of the many allergy seasons I suffer from I would start again.  I dug through the drawer in the bathroom and put in a pair that had been marinating in solution for longer than necessary.  Popped them in and immediately my left eye was bugging me.  They were old so I tossed both contacts and opened up a new pair...new as in expired in December 2012, but previously unopened.

Expiration dates are just suggestions anyway right? Besides it was only January, I put them in and both eyes were watering, but I figured it had been a while since I wore contacts my eyes probably just had to get used to wearing them again.  I squirted some solution in each eye and was out the door for work.  By the time I got to work my eyes were stinging slightly and getting red.  Especially my right eye, I went home for lunch, took them out and scrubbed them and tried again.  Before my work day had ended I went into the bathroom and took both out and threw them away.  My eyes were stinging and kept watering.  When I got home my cheeks were red too. Were the solution had spilled over onto each cheek, it hurt to touch.  It felt kinda like a sunburn.  After 3 days the redness left, but I began to notice my right eye was having trouble focusing.  It felt like something was in my eye and my vision felt blurry.

Beginning of last week I decided to make an eye appointment.  I did some math and realized I hadn't had my vision checked since before I was married.  April will mark 4 years of matrimony...making it already 4 years since my last eye exam.  The Big D has broke both pairs of glasses, so I was feeling fortunate I legally don't need corrective lenses...but maybe I do.  It has been awhile.  I also decided since all eye related things I own were old that maybe the solution had evaporated and was more concentrated.  A glance over the ingredients contains boric acid.  Maybe that caused the stinging/burning?

So I described to the eye doctor who squeezed me in for a limited exam, that it felt like something was in my eye. Like there was a film over my vision on the right, how it had felt like a contact does when it slides off your eye and is stuck, and then how just before my appointment I had rubbed my eye and all the sudden my vision seemed to improve.  It still seemed a little blurry/filmy and my eye felt really dry.  All I could say is it felt like something was in there, but it didn't hurt.

Guess what?  There was something in there.....a contact.

Apparently it had been there a while.  It was not a good fit for my eye, it had tons of buildup on it and was misshapen. The buildup then got on my eye and made my eye and contact stick together.

How else can you describe it other than a special kind of stupid to forget a contact in your eye? To tell people for almost a week how it felt like a contact was in your eye....and not actually realize you had a contact in? I still am not sure how long it was in there.  A good chance it has been in since September.  Might have been the issue with putting a new pair in also. What with trying to double up in one eye.  Now I get to put drops in my eyes every couple hours for a week or two to clear all the gunk off my eye.

Hubby, are you sure it is a good call that I am the one at home raising our children?

I am of course deflecting blame and working on a plausible excuse.  So far my all I have for my story  is that I'm trying to function through insomnia, needy children, and attempting (apparently not well) to survive on a day to day basis.  Can we throw in a fake stroke too?

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