Monday, October 29, 2012

It's Fun and Games Until Romeo Gets Pregnant

I should have seen the signs.  I should have paid more attention...but alas I am too late.  I suppose I should start at the beginning though.  The Toddler has always been a flirt, going back to the days of being a swaddled up little baby burrito.  A cute smile or wave to any female that caught his eye.  Young or Old made no difference.

What can you expect from a little boy who's first word was Boob?

While waiting in a parked car he would smile and wave as Jr. High girls passed by on the street. "I just waving at the pretty girls Mommy", always loud enough to be heard.  I just smiled thinking he probably made someone's day.  Checking out the cheerleaders at a basketball game before he could even walk...that made Dad happier than it made Mom.

You probably know we have bounced around quite a bit this year trying to get settled into daycare.  We had friends, family, and anyone else we could find watch the boys for a week or so at a time until we found an opening so both boys could be together.  One of our in between care givers was debating about opening a home daycare to supplement income.  She decided to be a stay at home mom and was expecting her 2nd bundle of joy.  So we had a deal for about a month or so to give it a go, it really did work out great.  Our parenting styles were similar and our kids got along well....maybe a little too well.  When picking up the boys I noticed the Toddler being pretty affectionate with his new friend.  They always hugged, we headed off attempted kisses....totally using this as ammo to humiliate them when they get to high school.  That's what good parents do right?

The Toddler also seems to have a crush on the little girl next door (another reason for the fenced in back yard).  He picks her flowers and asks about her all the time.  He has been pretty much smitten.  We joke about them dating when they get older...and are again thankful for the fence.

 Then at daycare last week he is saying goodbye to all the other kids and walks up to one little girl and says "I Love You" and leans in for a kiss.  She promptly stiff arms him and pushes his face into the door.  Shot Down!  The poor little guy's pride was hurt more than anything.  Then that night he tells me "Mommy, I like daycare....there are lots of pretty girls there"  Alright little play boy...you had that coming!

All in all though, I thought he was just being an innocent little boy.  Everything all cute and harmless, maybe imitating adults around him.  Until 3 days ago...when he told me he was pregnant.  That's right Hubby, apparently our 3 year old little boy is knocked up! Honestly, I didn't see it coming.

The boys were sitting at the table having breakfast on Saturday, directly after getting in trouble for fighting over toys and pushing each other.  The Toddler was narrating his day.

Toddler:...and then Baby try to hit me, and Mommy be mad at me, and then we give loves....and then I go to daycare and eat breakfast.
Me: Daycare?  You are eating breakfast at home honey.
Toddler: And then I go to daycare and eat, and food turn into little tiny baby, and I have baby in my belly. 
Me: You have a baby in your belly? 
Toddler: Yeah, see? (Opens mouth wide) 
Toddler: And then the baby keep eating my shirt all gone and makes my tummy hurt. 
Me: The baby ate your shirt? 
Toddler: Yeah the baby eat my two shirts and then I can't cover my belly and it hurt, the baby in my tummy hurt my belly.
Me: Your tummy hurts? Do you feel okay?
Toddler: My tummy not hurt, I just have baby in my belly. 
Me: ....{silence*}   

Then at church the next day he shared his condition with everyone he could.  He also informed me before bedtime that he couldn't go to sleep because he was hungry again.  When I told him that he already had supper and he said he was full. It was time for bed, I wasn't buying hungry again.  Then he informed me that the baby is his belly was still hungry and he needed to feed him.  Riiight.

Coming home from daycare today
Toddler: I need to get the baby out of my tummy so he stop laughing at me.
Me: The baby is laughing at you? 
Toddler: Yeah, the baby in my belly laugh at me, how I get him out? 
Me: That is a very good question, I don't think I know how to answer that.

*Yes Hubby, it really does happen sometimes, I don't always have something to say.

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