Saturday, May 5, 2012

Good Neighbors Break into Houses

Today started fairly nice.  The boys let me sleep in a little bit...aka I woke up to hearing giggling in their room instead of The Big D protesting his release from the crib and the Toddler climbing into my bed before my alarm has gone off.  It went downhill fast from there.

Awkward Moment #1

After breakfast I put baby boy down for a nap and was foolish enough to think putting in a movie for the other kiddo while jumping in the shower was a good plan.  About 5-10 minutes later I hear my neighbors voice and knocking on the bathroom door.  Coming out in a towel (you may now be grateful this isn't a picture post) I discover the Toddler had removed the childproof door handle on the front door, ran into the neighbors house and informed her "I can't find my Mommy!"

Awkward Moment #2

Re-discovering that the childproof safety knob was neither childproof nor adding to safety in my home, I decided instead to the lock the front door.  I finished getting ready and made the boys lunch.  Realized I was low on diapers and out of milk and decided to make a trip to the big city for a little shopping and to visit my sister.  I get both boys strapped in their car seats and smell evidence of a dirty diaper.  I noticed I didn't have my diaper bag so I thought I would run in and grab it, then deal with the offending stinker.  THE DOOR WAS LOCKED!  Many four letter words ran through my mind, and possibly out of my mouth...but I won't repeat them here.  I didn't have the keys.  I emptied out my purse on the deep freeze and frantically searched.   I ended up taking the boys to the neighbors (thanking her once more for returning my run-away) and we walked around the house looking at windows and trying to decide if between the two of us we could break in.

The bathroom window was part way open, but it had the screen in.  The basement window maybe...but its already kinda broke and more propped up in there, I was scared to touch it, plus the drop wouldn't be very friendly.
In the next 15-30 minutes I discovered a few things:

1) The police department is NOT willing to pick locks and break into houses.
2) There is NO locksmith in the town I live in.
3) A locksmith (80+ miles away) will give you instructions on how to break off the knob of your door to get in.
4) In-laws will prioritize a corral full of calves they need to get branded before destruction of property, but will put you on the waiting list.
5)Having neighbors with kids similar in age to yours is handy. (Especially if both of yours have messy bums and you can't get to your diapers)
6) If you ever decide to turn to a life of crime, all you need to break into a house is a flat screwdriver, a ladder, and an accomplice small enough to hoist through a bathroom window. (3 year olds work remarkable well for this)

Awkward Moment #3

Changing the Big D's diaper tonight almost gave me a heart attack.  There was red ALL OVER in his diaper.  All the thoughts running through my head, my heart is thumping.  My chest is getting tight.  Did he fall off something today?  Did he eat something that isn't going to pass? I couldn't think of anytime he was really out of my sight other than a few minutes earlier in the day when I was casing my own home.  The sweet little face looking up at my broke out into a smile and giggles...okay, he can't be hurting.  Would internal bleeding hurt?  And thats when I noticed in the hamper the Toddler's stained red shirt from earlier....Beets, I feed them beets today. *forehead smack*  Huge sigh of relief, panick waifting away, embarrassment about how easily I get worked up setting in.  Thank God this day is done.

**Favorite Quote of the Day: "So you sent your husband off to war and locked your family out of your house?"  Yep, that sums it up pretty well.  What can I say? I can get a lot done in a week.

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