How Do You Raise A Kid Who....

...is already smarter than you are at the age of 2!  Really I mean it.  The Hubby got us smart phones (Droid X) for Christmas last year and they came in the mail before he got home.  Of course I opened them immediately...and it took me several hours to find the 'On' switch.{Fail}

For the record the On/Off button is at the very top.

Then with the instruction manual in hand I spent 3 hours (off and on - when I lose my temper I huff up and walk away, but am drawn back to the fight) trying to figure out that I had to press and slide the lock on the touch screen.  The Hubby had to show me....you know after the 5 minutes it took him to open up his phone, put in the battery and turn it on. *Sigh*  He then told me, you have the wrong phone.

Tap & Slide....just tapping the unlock icon on the phone does nothing.

Sorry sidetracked, moving on.  The Toddler has a habit of coming into my room in the morning, crawling into bed with me and watching a Laurie Berkner video on YouTube before starting our day.  (Did I mention he is an awesome backup alarm clock? For real you can't hit snooze on a 2 year old)  Any who, I got out of bed and went in the nursery to change the Big D and get him dressed for the day, then I went to the bathroom to start getting me ready.  When I came back into my room to fetch the Toddler to get him ready, he was on speaker phone talking to someone.

Toddler: Baby is walking

Voice on the phone: Oh, yeah your baby can walk?

Toddler: Yeah, and I like olives!

Voice on the phone: I like olives too!

Me: Whaaat? Who are you talking to?

Voice on the phone: laughing Good morning {the Wife}!

Toddler: I talking on Mommy's phone

I then did my best to apologize and wish the voice on the phone (turned out to be my cousin) a good day and say good bye.

Toddler: Okay, now lets call Daddy!

Me: No, we don't call Daddy he calls us.

Toddler: NO!  I call Daddy!

Then I took away the phone and made him cry.

Apparently he decided to call my cousin while I was off gallivanting getting ready...I really hope she hadn't had a late night with her new little one.  New mamas (heck all mamas) need all the sleep they can get!

Later in the day I discovered something I totally want for the boys room, but at $210 on sale and $300 regular its not happening.  I got to looking at it though, and decided my BIL could totally make it for me!  So when 5:00 rolled around I called my sister to tell her I emailed her a picture of something to show her husband...but instead of the "Hi, how are ya?" I was expecting I got:

Sister: The Baby is crying and Mommy is sleeping

Me: Excuse me?

Sister: The baby is crying and Mommy is sleeping, that is what {the Toddler} called and told us this morning.

Me: He called you? 

Sister: He called and {Darling Niece} kept asking if she could talk to his Mommy. The Toddler kept telling her that you were sleeping and the baby was crying...well he said No first.

Me: Arggh!  I need to check my phone and see how many people he called this morning!

So back to the original point...my son is smarter than I am....and apparently calling people early in the morning to report that I am a bad parent. ***FYI-his story was totally not true, I was not sleeping and the baby was not crying.***

Let the record show: Mom-0; Toddler-999

Shall we recap?

Me: 3-6 hours learning to turn the smart phone on

Toddler: Turned on smart phone, unlocked the screen, watched at least one video on YouTube, and made at least THREE  phone calls using speakerphone in 5-10 minutes.(yeah he managed to fit in another call somewhere along the line)