Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Who is the Adult?

Case in Point #1
On the way to daycare we were jamming out to some rock'n B-I-N-G-O and Baa Baa Black Sheep (we are cool like that), and the Toddler starts jabbering.  So I turn down the dial and am promptly reprimanded.

"No, touching buttons Mommy, okay?  You know better, you don't play with buttons!  No No Mommy, no more touching buttons, you hear me?"

Loud and clear bud.

Case in Point #2
One morning as I was finishing changing the Big D's diaper I tapped his little diapered bum while saying "spank, spank, spank".  Baby found it funny and giggled....the Toddler did not find it funny AT ALL. I also took his toes and put them behind his ears, and tapped his nose with his toes (lord to be that flexible). 

Toddler: No Mommy, don't hit MY baby!
Me: Mommy is just playing with him honey, I didn't hit him. 
Toddler:   You don't spank MY baby, that hurts him.  No hurting my baby.
 Me:  He isn't hurt, see he is giggling, we are pretending.  See, its the same thing mommy did when you were little.
Toddler: Now you tell baby sorry Mommy, tell him sorry for hurting.
Me: I didn't hurt him, we were just playing.
Toddler: Mommy, tell baby sorry, tell baby sorry for hurting him...and go stand in corner.
Me:  I'm not going to stand in the corner.
Toddler:  Please tell baby sorry, you hurt him.  Tell baby sorry and stand in corner.  You hearing me mommy?  You hear what Josh say? Go stand in corner...I spank your butt!
Me:  No 
Toddler: You hear me, stand in corner then I spank your butt
Me: You don't tell mommy what to do, and you don't spank.
Toddler:  Mommy you being naughty, you need to listen to me.  I going to spank your butt. 
And he preceded to run over and apparently got distracted with the threatened spankings because he started tickling me and giggling.  Did he just use the distraction method on me?

Case in Point #3:
I tried to hit potty training hard this weekend.  It didn't go so well.  Saturday went great: I am an awesome Mom and have this down!  Sunday was a power struggle: we are making progress, not as easy as I was hoping but we can get there.  Monday it became clear: I am the loser in the war of the wills.

Not one successful trip to the toilet.  I think he was holding it all morning to torment me.  I put him in his daddies (big boy underwear) and thought any accidents would be uncomfortable.  Kid didn't care if he was wet, dry, dirty or free-balling.  5 minutes after a refusal to even try I let him go with a  "Okay, I am resetting the timer, because you don't have to go now, and it will remind us to try again later. When you are ready let Mommy know."  I notice the oh-so-familiar-smell wafting from his general direction and the suspicious odd shaped bump.

Me: Do we need to change underwear?

Toddler: No

Me: Lets go clean you up

Toddler: No
I ended up dragging/carrying him kicking and screaming to the changing table...where he held on to his messy undies with all his might.
Toddler: Stays on, stays on!
By the time I wrestled his dirty "daddies" off there was literally poop from his bum to his toes.  I was stressed out and snapped, I started yelling, threw away the underwear, the...uhmm...crap, and all.  Cleaned him up and stormed into the livingroom.  Feeling guilty for losing my cool, feeling frustrated from going from Super Awesome Potty Training Parent to Utter Failure I broke down and cried.

Toddler: You sad mommy?

Me: nodding my head

Toddler: You crying about baby or crying about Josh?

Me: Crying about yelling at you honey

Toddler: {kisses me on the forehead, wraps his arms around my neck and pats my back} "It's okay mommy"

Toddler: Mommy?

Me: yea

Toddler: You miss your Daddy?

Me: yes honey I miss Daddy

Toddler: Daddy misses us and loves us, It's okay mommy {with another hug}

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